Sammy the Snail
"So sometimes, it's good to start a story with somebody saying something. It's usually hooks people into the story and they feel like they are put immediately in the action, even if the environment is actually boring and bereft of action."
Sammy the snail awoke abruptly to the monotonous tone of the lecturer's voice in his English class. His heart raced at first since he didn't know where he was, but he soon realized that the environment he was in was actually boring and bereft of action. So he decided to make up a phony excuse to get out of the classroom. He raised his right antenna to get the teacher's attention.
"Miss Crogsworth? There's something wrong with my arms, can I go to the nurse?" he asked.
Miss Crogsworth sighed, "Sammy," she said gently, "you don't have any arms."
"I know," said Sammy, "and I think that if I don't get them fixed now they might become a permanent problem."
Miss Crogsworth sighed. "Sammy, we've had this same conversation three times this week."
"But every time we have it, I end up going to the nurse. So can I go?"
"Can't argue with that logic," said Barnabus. Miss Crogsworth sighed.
"See, even Barnabus agrees!" said Sammy.
Miss Crogsworth sighed. "Alright, fine, take the hall pass."
"Yaaaaay!" yelled Sammy. He hopped out of his chair, and slowly made his way to the hall pass on the other side of the room, leaving a slimy slime trail of slime behind him. It took him three and a half hours to even get outside the classroom, and on his way out the door he had a high speed collision with Miss Crogsworth. She sighed several times during the encounter.
By the time Sammy had reached the nurse's office, the school day had been over for quite some time and it was dark by now. As he entered the nurse's office, it was almost pitch black except for several hundred 1000 watt pink light bulbs that dimly lit the 8 foot by 8 foot room.
"V-V-V-V-ELLLLLLCOMMMME," said an ominous voice, "TO ZE N-N-N-NUUUURSES OFFFFFIZZZE. I AM B-B-B-BENNNEDICCCT ZE S-SCHOOL NUUUURSE and also art teacher."
Sammy shivered. The room would have been below freezing if it weren't for the giant industrial-sized 100,000 BTU furnace running at full power. "H-hello, Mr. Benedict, sir," Sammy stammered.
"CALLLLL ME BENNNNNNNN," Benedict wailed, his voice increasing in intensity with every word. "S-S-SSSAMMMYYY, I HAVVVE HEARRRD YOUUUU HAVVE BEEN NEEEEDING SOMMME ARMMMMMZZZ." Benedict began moving closer and closer to sammy.
"No, Mr. Benedict," Sammy cried. "Not the blowtorch, NOT THE BLOWTORCH! AUUUUUUGH!!!"
The next day...
All the children were playing on the playground when Sammy showed up with two brand new massively muscular arms awkwardly soldered to his chest.
"Whoa," Barnabus said. "Where'd you get those sweet appendiges?"
"Mr. Benedict gave me them! Check this out!" Sammy punched a little kid in the face.
"Whoa awesome!" said Barnabus.
"Oh god!" the little kid screamed. "I can't see! Blood is pouring out of my eye sockets!"
Everybody cheered.
