Quickwrite, November 14, 2003 Question: What is your opinion on hunting animals? Answer: My opinion on hunting animals is the best opinion that could possibly be formed, because I know everything. The following is an excerpt from Hunting and Its Mascots by Jaxin Gardner, M.D.: "...and don't use a gun, that's cheating. The real way to hunt is using only a pocket knife and against something big and viscious, like a T-Rex or a killer elephant.
"Of course, my favorite species to hunt is a ninja, especially in its natural habitat, the urban jungle. They aren't as big as killer elephants, but they're twice as viscious. I know, I've killed thousands, and when I say thousands, I mean fifty-seven. So here's a toast to ninjas and the hours of hand-to-hand sport hunting they have given me and many others. Ninjas!"
What a lunatic, right? WRONG, YOU FOOL! In actuality, the author later started his own country of only nine square feet. That country later won every olympic medal possible in 2018, with was amazing since the only competitor was its founder. He was the only citizen too. Somehow he was able to be at simultaneous olympic games at once, but it how he did it still remains a mystery.
Other achievements of this author include the creation of the idiomatic phrase "cover it with mayonnaise and set it on fire."
