Manji vs. Seshomaru, Jaxin's Rendition, Part 2
(Manji and Seshomaru are both passed out next to a tree with large bumps on their heads. Neal is sleeping soundly up in the tree. Both Jiggin and Jaxin have since left.) Manji: *wakes and looks around* Hey! *shakes Seshomaru awake* What are you doing sleeping, you fool! We must have our revenge! Seshomaru: Revenge? What are you talking about? Manji: Those two wandering cereal peddlers killed both our families and ran off! Don't you remember? Seshomaru: Uhhh...no... I think you just dreamt that. Manji: Nonsense! Who are we supposed to believe? Me, or a demon? Demons are stupid. We had a whole conversation about this, remember? Seshomaru: Uhhh...no... Manji: Jeez, let's just go.
(Manji and Seshomaru get up and leave.)
(Cut to: Jiggin, Jaxin, Neal, and Jesus are sitting in a circle, playing cards) Jesus: Why do I have to say that? Jiggin: Because you know that I have the fives. Jaxin: And since you know he has the fives, you have to give him the option to be slapped in the face.
(Enter Manji and Seshomaru) Seshomaru: ...too sexy for my-- Manji: At last! We found them! Now, I shall use my secret weapon... *pats himself down* Oh no! It appears the secret weapon that old man gave me has been stolen! Seshomaru: Are you sure that wasn't a dream, because I really don't remember any of what you've been talking about. Manji: Wait a minute! *pointing at Neal* How did you get here before us? You were sleeping in the tree when I left! Neal: Well, if you had started walking in the right direction, you wouldn't have had to circle around for miles like that. I mean, look. *points at the tree, which is 20 feet away* Manji: Hmmm...you are a clever opponent, but it will take more than wits to win this battle! *draws his sword* Jiggin: Whoa, I wouldn't be battling anyone, if I was you. You got pretty mashed up the last time you pulled a stunt like that. Manji: Well, you should have seen the other guy. Jaxin: You mean the tree? Manji: Quiet, you. Jesus: *pointing at Jiggin* Do I get to slap him yet? Seshomaru: *out of the blue* Aren't I sexy?
(Everyone looks at Seshomaru. There is an awkward silence.) Seshomaru: Come on! I'm like, so cool! And plus, look, I've got this cool crescent moon thing on my forehead. Isn't that awesome?
(More awkward silence) Seshomaru: So nobody thinks I'm sexy? *tears well up in his eyes* Chloe: *appearing out of nowhere* I think you're sexy!
(Chloe and Seshomaru look at each other. They run at each other across the meadow as corny romantic music plays. Before they meet, Seshomaru gets hit by lightning and dies.) Chloe: NOOOOOOOOOO! Jiggin: Oh man, that is just sad. Hey Jesus, can't you bring him back to life or something? Jesus: Well, I could, but I think it's better off this way. The relationship never would have worked out. Trust me, I was a marriage counselor from about age 13 to 30. Jiggin: Hey, if you know so much about relationships, how do I get all the ladies? Jesus: Uhhh, just kill more animals. Jiggin: Sweet! *punches an iguana*
