Jaxin 14: Jaxin Goes to Hell! Jaxin: *goes to hell* Hey, it isnt so bad in here. It just looks like a 7-11 that's on fire. Happy Wiggle Bunny: Hey there! *smile smile* Would you like some heroin? Jaxin: Hmm...Sounds tempting, but I better not. Happy Wiggle Bunny: Well, you know what that means! *smile smile* *breaks Jaxin's legs* Jaxin: AUGH!!! The pain! Jiggin Walkingtonson: *busts in through the vortex of unending horror that is the entrance to hell* Die, medium-sized scum!! *tackles happy wiggle bunny, beats her unconscious, then skins her* Jaxin: Holy jello! Where did you learn to do that? Jiggin: I learned it all from this educational video! *pulls out a copy of "Roger and Me"* Jaxin: Wowzy Powzy. Well, thanks for saving me. Jiggin: Saving you? What the hell are you talking about? I just did that because I'm the bane of medium-sized animals. Oogles*: Oh. What do you have against them, anyway?
(* - Also known as Jaxin) Jiggin: Well, it all started that day...
*flashback flashback flashback*
(Jiggin walks cheerily on a sidewalk past some suburban looking houses, of a predominantly white community, which has obviously been GREENLINED in order to institutionalize racism. Then he trips over a dog. The dog runs away) Jiggin: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Vengeance!!!
*kcabhsalf kcabhsalf kcabhsalf* Jiggin: ...and that's how it happened. Jaxin: What? You have dedicated your life to destroying medium-sized animals because you tripped over a dog? Jiggin: Well, that and that Sugar Bear on the Golden Crisp box is always hoarding all the Golden Crisp! He should leave some for the rest of us. And I suspect that a squirrel stole my toothpaste... Jaxin: Wait, but squirrels are small-sized animals. Jiggin: Well, it was a lot of toothpaste. It had to be a really big squirrel. Jaxin: How do you know it was a freakishly large squirrel and not a larger animal? Jiggin: I just KNOW, alright? Ever heard of a hunch? *looks suddenly to the left*
(A freakishly large squirrel is eating a freakishly large acorn, but then looks up. The camera zooms in on Jiggin's twitching, angry eye. Then it zooms in on the squirrel's wide frightened, eye.) Jiggin: AAAAAAAAARGH!!! Vengeance!! *chases after squirrel* Jaxin: *tear drops from eye* Good for you, Jiggin, follow your dream... *wipes tears from eyes, then sealwalks over to the unending vortex of horror, then shouts into it:* Hey! Fishy! Gimme a hand here! I was just visiting, and my legs got broken. Voice with a three-day beard: Ugh...always with the broken legs...
