Harry the Friendly Head of Lettuce
Harry was a very friendly head of lettuce. He liked ping pong, rock climbing, and geology. He was always nice to his neighbors, but his neighbors weren't very nice to him. This was because Harry the friendly head of lettuce was openly communist.
Harry believed in equality in wealth and opportunity, but he didn't force his ideas on anyone. Still, his neighbors were mean to him.
"Hey, Mr. Wiggington!" the happy head shouted to his neighbor as he walked by.
"Screw you, commie!" Mr. Wigginton replied. This was a relatively friendly response, as usually he got kicked in the lower leaves or other more sensative parts of the lettuce anatomy.
Harry was never put down by physical or verbal abuse, but he kept his anger bottled up inside him. One day, Harry finally snapped and killed Mr. Wiggington and his family, writing excerpts from "The Communist Manifesto" in their blood on their walls.
This behavior actually caused the people in the neighborhood to respect him more, to such an extent that they revered him as their new god. He took over the world with a violent communist dictatorship.
