Freddy the Frog
Freddy the frog wasn't actually a frog. He was a wombat, in frog clothing. He fooled everyone into thinking he was a frog until one day he accidentally slipped up and did a wombat mating dance. Although he got all the wombat ladies, it blew his cover, and he was hunted down by the frog community.
"DEATH!!!" screamed the crowd of frogs. "DEATH TO YOU, POSER!!" Little did they know, Freddy had a trick up his sleeve.
Unfortunately, his trick wouldn't deploy, and he was beaten to death with the sharp end of a shovel.
Freddy found himself in a white waiting room. A gruff fish with a 3-day beard addressed him. "Name?"
"Excuse me?" said Freddy.
The fish kicked him in the crotch. "I said what's your name, you deaf wombog frobat!"
Although the creativity exhibited by this combination of the words "frog" and "wombat" intrigued him, he had no time to think it over, and immediately replied.
"Harold Hill." This was his code name from when he was in the FBI.
"Alright, we better look at your record," the fish said. He led him into the back room and looked at his file.
"Hmmm...FBI," the fish said. "Pretty nice." Freddy straightened his tie. "Hey," the fish said. "What's the deal with this? You ate all the hors d'ouvres at your best friend's party in 1987?" The fish looked at Freddy, outraged.
"Oh, well," Freddy began, stuttering. "The thing with that was, well...he had these really good deviled eggs with just the right amount of mustard in them, and--" The fish pointed toward a door marked "HELL."
Freddy looked to the door, and then back to the fish. "Do I gotta?"
The fish kicked him in the crotch again and pushed him through the door.
Freddy looked around and found himself in a 7-11. The clerk smiled at him. "Hey, there," he said. "Welcome to hell. Can I help you?"
Freddy approached the register. "Uh, yeah. I guess, I'll have a 3 Musketeers."
The clerk slid one across the table. "Anything else?"
"No thanks," said Freddy.
"That'll be 75 cents," the clerk said.
Freddy paid for it and walked out the door.He found himself on Hollister Avenue. He opened his 3 Musketeers and took a bite.
"Well, that was weird," Freddy said, and started to walk home.
