Clancy
Once there was this old man named Clancy, and like all old people, he was on the verge of dying. So one day, death visited him in order to take his soul. Death knocked on Clancy's front door. Clancy, being the paranoid old geezer he was, grabbed his shotgun he kept for home protection and fired it four times through the door. Death died. Clancy buried him in his front yard next to the two graves of his dead cats under a gravestone that read: "A trespasser lies here. Stay off my property."
