The Badger Who Got Distracted
There once was a badger who had a really funny name. He lived in the northern part of South Easton. He had a gift for mathematics, and was taking Calculus. In the middle of his Calculus homework, he spotted something in the grass. It was blue and angular and part of it was sticking upward. He moved closer and discovered that it was a large box of graham crackers.
The badger with a funny name had never eaten graham crackers. He had had access to them as a child, but he once heard the following quote from his mother: "Graham crackers...are...evil..."
However, this quote was taken severely out of context. When all the stuff inbetween was filled in, this is what she actually said: "Graham crackers taste good. They are a nutritious snack. Furthermore, these tasty snacks are not eaten by evil zombies from beyond the grave."
So, the badger, let's just call him Pigma, finally overcame his fear of graham crackers, opened up the box and ate one of the crackers. He swallowed, and suddenly, his eyes lit up and looked glazed over.
He suddenly found himself on a hill, holding hands with a beautiful female badger with a funny name. They were talking about romantic things for about 20 seconds, and suddenly, he found himself back on the grass, looking at the box. This was a wonderful world he had entered, and he decided to return, again and again.
By the time he finished the box, he already had a wonderful relationship with the female badger, let's just call her Wandor, and wanted more. With each cracker he ate, he wanted to be in the world more and more, so he set off for a graham cracker factory.
Pigma was as determined as a bag of beets, but when he began stealing the crackers he was caught by the security at the factory.
The penalty for this offense was, of course, 35 consecutive death penalties, but Pigma told his story of the only badger he ever loved. The guards were touched by Pigmas story, and reduced his sentence to being thrown up into the night sky.
And that is why, if you look up at the night sky, sometimes you can see Pigma and Wandor, holding hands and eating graham crackers. That is, if you have had too much drugs.
